XxCyntiasWorldxX

But no worries! I will be moving to a new account called CyntiiPandahPoems.
I'm waiting until November 1st so I have time to save any work I have on this account that I dont have saved anywhere else, and so that if anyone who is watching me here wants to, they have time to add me on my other account first.
If you want to add my new account, please click the icon below:

I'm going to delete all of my written works from this account. Poetry, and whatever else. But they aren't disappearing from the world of Deviants. I'm going to move them to a new account called CyntiiPandahPoems.

Link: cyntiipandahpoems.deviantart.c…

Just in case some of you are still interested in following my works. I know I havent written in a long time, but Ill be updating them soon!!

I can't say I'm a better person than I was before, but I'm sure as hell happier, braver, and stronger, so...

Step 1: Completed.
Step 2: Continue from there.

And I have people to thank for this.

The Tedford-Rivera family.
They took me in when my home situation was unhealthy. They made me a part of their family, and showed me what a real family is supposed to be. No,they're not "perfect image" people, there is imperfection in the household, and one or two of them are downright insane to be honest (said with love), but it's a strong family full of love. It took me 18 years to get a family, but it was worth the wait.
I let them down a number of times, and almost ruined everything, but they were there for me. They didnt give up on me.

My best friend Jessica.
She's one of the only people who truly understands me and accepts me fully for who I am. And when I went down a bad road, she didn't follow me down it, but she NEVER left my side. She showed me that there are people out there who genuinely do care from the bottom of the hearts, all the way up to the tippy-top. Because of her, I learned that it was okay to be myself. I learned that if people like you for something you're not, they don't really like you at all--they only like the show you play for them. She showed me that the right people, the people who are meant to be in your life, will accept you no matter how different you are, and love you for the real you. Without her, I would have never learned that the people who are meant to be in your life will be. And that if they go, it only means that their part in your story is over. Whether it be forever, or for a while. Obviously, Jessica is one of the few people who will be here for me right up until the very end. And I hope that we will be friends until we die. And that when we die, we can be ghosts and hide peoples socks....Because I'm almost certain that's the reason over 80% of mine go missing. lol. She's a loyal, dedicated friend. She stood fast and never gave up on me, and she's still here. I love you, sis <3

My old teacher Ms. Burns.
Honestly, I wouldn't have made it this far without her, even with everyone else's help.
When I came into the high school half way through the ninth grade, I had the English skills of a junior in college (though, as you can see, I am CLEARLY not displaying in this entry) and the math skills of a second grader. She stayed after school with me for a good three and a half hours every day, even on Fridays (thank the Good Lord my house was only a five minute walk from the school) and taught me everything math-related that I needed to know from 2nd grade all the way to the end of 9th grade. Of course, I was still one grade behind, but DAMN, you have to admit that's a pretty big stride! Even I kinda feel proud of that.
...And she wasn't even my teacher at the time.
And for the next three years, she continued to help me.
When I was in a dark place, I almost lost my chance at graduation. Even the principal didn't know if I would graduate in time, and I had to stay in school an extra month to make up the missing credits. I almost didn't make it. But she kicked my ass in gear, and my graduation was the first graduation she had ever attended in all the years she taught highschool. Now she's helping me apply for college, and even offered to help me with the math courses I apply for there! She didnt give up on me.

And last, but not nearly the least, my boyfriend Adam.
We've only been together for five and a half months, but we've known eachother for almost a year, and he's been a major support in my life. He's provided fun, happy stress relief when I've needed it, and warm, secure hugs when comic relief couldn't do the trick. He made me feel braver when I couldn't stand the thought of facing the rumours, lies and terrible grades at school. When I wanted to just up and run away from this town, he reminded me of just what I needed to hold onto, and couldn't let go of. He put up with me when I freaked out, panicked, or angry. He made me learn that I can't survive by taking care of everyone else; I have to take care of myself, too. And he made me like myself, just a little bit more. And even when we fought and argued right down to a breaking point, and it seemed like we couldn't go back...He didn't give up on me.

There's a pattern, here.
These people had faith in me when I had no faith in myself. They didn't give up on me, and downright refused to let me give up on myself. They showed me that drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol wouldn't solve my problems. And that I could be stronger than that. That I was better than that. I'm still working on the cigarette part, but I'm doing so much better than I used to be.

I don't want to die anymore.

I'm not depressed anymore.

If these people didn't give up on me, I should at least show them respect by showing just as much determination, for the sake of them.
And after that, maybe, I can finally do it for the sake of myself.

Going to start uploading original, hand-drawn sketches into my computer so I can edit and remake them with Paint Tool Sai. Because editing bases makes me feel way too unoriginal, and sketching with paint tool, or drawing dot-by-dot is way too tedious. :\

I really don't wanna splurge with any more money...But I reallllllllllly want a tablet. </3

Realllllly bad


Does anyone have a suggestion for a tablet that WOULD be worth the money???

I draw your character in my style, and you draw my character in your style?